Baled Clouds Prevent Drought

Baled Clouds Prevent Drought AG WORLD Ag World ® Copyright 1981 Farmshine Newspaper DRY GULCH PA - The old cliche that man can talk about the weather but is incapable of doing anything about it is no longer true thanks to a 31-year old Pennsylvania dairyman who is gifted with a special knowledge of physics and chemistry As long as there are clouds in the sky there ll be moisture for Paul Wolkenkratzer s crops In fact even when there are no clouds around Wolkenkratzer can produce rain with specially-treated compressed clouds which he stores in a 30 x 150-ft trench silo It s a scientific break-through with immeasurable potential for food-producing areas of the world The young man s method to overcome a severe drought such as many farmers experienced last year is to bale clouds and preserve them for future use Inviting me to follow him to the machinery shed Wolkenkratzer offered to show the equipment he uses to harvest clouds or as he put it: milk the sky There s nothing extraordinary about any of it although the two hot air balloons he uses to lift the equipment are a bit unusual A 46-horsepower utility tractor and a common baler do the job of compressing clouds into bales of stored moisture No special gadgets or attachments are needed except for a chemical dispenser-applicator which sprays a preservative onto the clouds as they enter the baling chamber and a rod which serves as a powerful electrode to ionize the cloud particles That instrument is powered by the tractor s 12-volt electrical system An ordinary ignition coil builds the voltage up to 25 000 volts which is sufficient to cause molecular bonding Other than for a change in the type of nozzles used and their position within the baler the applicator is the same as those used to apply preservatives while baling hay Wolkenkratzer explained A fine mist of the special chemical and the ionization process is all that s necessary to transform the clouds into a preservable state While the young inventor speaks openly about the mechanics of his stunning project he s reluctant to discuss too much about the chemistry involved claiming that he would like to patent the formula and market it The inspiration came to him while he was aboard a jet last summer on his way to the Holstein Convention in Nashville I looked out the window and saw all those endless fields of clouds out there It was beautiful For as far as I could see there were white clouds bathed in sunlight They were sculptured into huge pillows and blankets and castles and whatever you might want to imagine I fantasized that I was walking out there in the deep downy-soft canyons and along ridges and cliffs of an awe-inspiring heavenly world It looked so inviting! That s when it hit me Nobody could walk and bounce around on clouds of course but I wondered what if they could be transformed into something more solid? Asked if it took any special license to fly the balloon Wolkenkratzer answered that he did have to pass a flight test and acquire a permit The Federal Ballooning Bureau FBB is still considering legal questions and weight standards concerning the unusual cargo carried by Wolkenkratzer s two balloons It does take quite a bit of hot air to get enough lift on this the dairyman-inventor admitted He uses a high-intensity propane burner on the balloon which carries the baler and a normal burner on the tractor-carrying balloon Thef ront balloon doesn t need the high-intensity burner because I funnel the hot exhaust gases from the tractor into it That helps he explained He controls his balloon from the tractor seat A second man is required to steer the balloon that carries the baler FBB regulations permit Wolkenkratzer to ascend to a height of 10 000 feet which is well within reach of the most productive clouds He says he does most of his cloud baling directly above his own 150-acre farm He just floats around a bit and lets the clouds drift into the baler That s the easiest way because I can just let the bales drop down to my field he said For a real challenge I turn on the kicker and try to aim the bales to fall right into the trench he continued That s about like trying to throw a ping-pong ball from mid-court to make a basket he chuckled The bales of cloud material are extremely light considering their density Wolkenkratzer showed When ejected from the baler they float to the ground like big fluffy feathers If the wind is right I can bale clouds miles away from home and let the bales float to my property But that s a pretty tricky business I m thinking of getting a third balloon to take a wagon up with me he confided That would add an additional expense to an elaborate system but he thinks it s cheaper than conventional irrigation The baling process is remarkably fast because nothing can choke up and there s no need for twine The compressed cloud material stays together by itself Wolkenkratzer showed On a good day he can bale close to 2 000 bales an hour Each bale he says will yield between 500 and 600 gallons of water depending on their density I ll have enough to keep me supplied all summer even if we don t get a drop of rain the young man said confidently Earlier this year on Wednesday April 1st Wolkenkratzer demonstrated his ingenious invention to a gathering of weathermen in Washington D C They ve told so many lies over the years about when it is or isn t going to rain that I jumped at the opportunity to score a point for our side just once! Wolkenkratzer concluded Editors Note: If your initial reaction to the above story is I don t believe it you are 100% right Paul Wolkenkratzer and his cloud-baling concept for overcoming severe drought are simply the figment of Dieter Krieg s imagination Dieter editor-publisher of Farmshine Newspaper Mannheim Penn wrote the spoof story for his paper s April 1 April Fool s Day edition Our thanks to Dieter and Farmshine for tickling our funny bone

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